Understanding the Core of Conflict in Marriage (Part 2)
July 28, 2022
In this episode, we continue to look at the nature of sin and temptation according to God's word in the first marriage between Adam and Eve.
What is Adam’s sinfulness in response to Satan, and do we see this bear out in real life?
- We read through to see how Satan, the craftiest of all creatures, picked Eve over Adam to deceive
- The attack vector successfully used was to entice Eve to be like God -- and to have the ability to know the difference between Good and Evil
- This gullibility reveals itself in the modern world in the form of judgment, criticality, and assigning motives to the husband.
- So...when we are deceived to commit a sin, what do we often do?
- We justify to ourselves. That justification is also how we then persuade others to sin.
- What are the ways Eve justifies it to herself?
- tree was good for food -- pragmatism for survival -- (Luke 4:3) for the version against Jesus -- The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.”
- it was a delight to the eyes -- “beauty” and “aesthetics”
- to make one wise -- back to being like a God
- What is Adam’s sin? “she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate”
- That space between giving and his eating is missing alot of context...but it’s fair to say....he didn’t relent right away.
- She persuaded him, probably using the same strategies -- and he relented.
- My question is, does he relent because of the reasons themselves....or because Eve was relentless?
- My hunch is it must incorporate the latter. For if the reasons themselves were sufficient, Satan may have gone directly to Adam first. But he didn’t.
- Therefore...Satan had in mind that Eve would be more effective and deceiving Adam.
- Adam’s sin: relenting to disobey God to please a woman
- Proverbs warns over and over against man succumbing to seduction by a woman. Therefore, it seems reasonable that man’s weakness, which is, by the way, often heralded as a strength by the secular world, to succumb to the demands, arguments, cajoling....against God’s word.
Does God’s curse upon Adam and Eve reveal sources of conflict and sin that are both deep and spiritually discerned, but manifested in reality?
- But you will still desire your husband, and he will rule over you (CEV)
- “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband”
- you will desire to control your husband
- The lie says it’s about “desiring your husband” -- unrequited love and devotion
- How do I justify this? Where else is the same Hebrew word used and in what context?
- God uses it in Genesis 4:7 and talking about Party A “desiring” Party B.
- Let’s look at the text
- Control: secular sociologists in their sampling found control, specifically through the use of shame, to be the source of conflict.
- Control has many, many flavors: crying, anger, criticism, mothering/smothering, gossip, false praise, manipulation, withholding of intimacy....all of these were listed in a secular book as common methods of women to shame and, ultimately, control their husbands.
- The counter-argument would be that men have, in general, the same behavior so to this I give it to you whether you agree or not, by looking at the culture and within your own relationships.
- I think capitulation to control and shame is the sin of men.
- The counter-argument is that, no, men dominate women “he shall rule over you” -- doesn’t that go against the capitulation of Adam?
- No. Adam’s capitulation was a failure to stand faithfully in God’s word and obey
- Sinful man’s rule is more often their counter-control for independence and freedom from shame -- and those can be very, very sinful: physical abuse, use of power at work, for example
- But largely, women wield so much now within the church and the culture at large through weaponized shame, cancel culture, accusations....this isn’t saying that there are some bad behavior that needs to be called out
- But I would ask, is this the dynamic you want at home? More importantly, does it exist already?
16To the woman he said,
“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,
but he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)16
Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (NLT)You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” (Genesis 4:7)